Are you building a business you don’t want to lead?

One of the hardest things for an entrepreneur to admit? That they’ve built a business they no longer enjoy.

What do you do when you realize you’ve built a business you don’t enjoy?

Entrepreneurs so often feel deeply alone when they admit they’ve done this.

Surely you’re the only one to paint herself into this gilded corner?

Nope.

In fact, this happens way more often than you’d think (and is a classic reason to work with a coach).

Pretty much every entrepreneur starts out promising to do things their own way, to think different, and build a company that lights them up creatively and supports the life they want. 

Fast forward a few months or years, and so often you’re stuck on a hamster wheel you secretly hate.

Your to-do list feels like a list of things other people said you should do.

In fact, with every new business success, a little voice inside you whispers that you’re actually building a bigger shinier cage.

So, how did you get here?

Path 1

At every decision point along the path of building a business you’re offered cheat codes. Hacks that worked for someone else. Guidance on “the way the industry works”. Well-meaning advice that starts “you must build a…” 

And you don’t have time to learn about every single aspect of creating a company, so what worked for someone else seems like a great idea. Soon you’re copying someone you admire online or defaulting to “the way it’s done”.

Next thing you know, you have a content machine demanding to be fed, a sales funnel that works great but takes way too much of your time, or investors demanding hockey-stick growth and telling you your existing business is insufficient.

All ‘high-quality’ problems that you-three-years-ago would love to have.

Other people’s playbooks work for them because they sit at the intersection of what that person is great at, what they really enjoy, and what they can tolerate in service of their vision. 

You can have some level of success copying others, but it won’t come as easily, it won’t feel as good, and you’ll be attracting clients and collaborators who want what you actually don’t want to give. 

Path 2

You changed faster or in a different direction than your business.

Perhaps simpler to diagnose, tougher to resolve without some really big decisions.

And now what?

If you find yourself here, stuck with a company that doesn’t light you up…

How do you find a path to your next level of success that genuinely lights you up?

Here’s a place to start.

Step 1: Remind yourself of your joy and your power

To create a vision of a better future, you need to first get out of your current contractive mental state. If you build a vision from where you are now it’ll read like a list of things you don’t want - just like how your dream partner when you’re in the wrong relationship is just the opposite of whoever is lying next to you. 

So, first, do what makes you feel good and optimistic - and ideally powerful and free. This is a great time for a weekend away, a change of scenery, sun, water, hugs from friends, great food. Also for something out of the ordinary - a skydive, an impulsive flight to visit a friend, a fabulous new look. Fill up your cup AND surprise yourself.

Step 2: Create an exciting vision of your next big chapter

From this more expansive state, write a letter as if it’s three years from now. What are you doing every day, what’s filling you up, what are you looking forward to? Write about your home, your work, the cadence of your week, month, and year. Who are you spending time with? What is your relationship with money, your body, your creativity, your community, your power? 

By the way, three years is a great distance for visioning. Far enough that the voice in your head saying ‘that won’t work’ pipes down, and close enough to feel within tantalizing reach. 

I find it takes a few days to get this sort of vision clear. When I write this sort of letter, I come back, read over and edit it once a day until every sentence feels good in my head, heart, and body. 

Step 3: Get clear on what fills you up and what drains you

With this vision clear, go back to your current day-to-day. Write a list of the moments you love, that light you up and then another list of what feels dry, heavy, somehow old. The invitation is clear, you must double down on what lights you up, and find ways to let go of the old. 

It could be hiring someone to take on the parts of the company you don’t enjoy (even a new CEO). 

You might realize that one major client saps you in ways you can’t quite explain, and give yourself permission to wind down that relationship.

You might create a whole different sales funnel based on in-person events, and let the old one based on digital ads gently go. 

You might realize that the admin of serving a lot of 1:1 clients is draining the hell out of you and transition to a few group programs. 

Or you might take a week offline, proving that your business will be ok if you take a break - and that spaciousness might make everything on your list feel lighter, so you build in quarterly reset weeks going forward.